I had a great time in Chattanooga for Kramer’s wedding, so I was looking forward to this trip to rural Limestone, Tennessee to visit my sister Jessica for Thanksgiving. How I managed to make it this far south twice this year is beyond me, but getting out of the city for a while is generally worth the effort, assuming, of course, that I remember to bring the appropriate computer hardware. Jess moved out here a few months ago after her wedding, and took a job as an engineer at a small company that has a contract with DOD to make various types of ammunition. Did you read that correctly? My little sister makes the armor piercing bullets and grenades that our country uses to destroy the kinds of people who take over hotels in Mumbai. I work in a library.
Taking this into account, it came as little surprise that after our reunion and a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, I was gently pressured into participating in activities like climbing mountains and discharging firearms. I played it cool, since I have embarked on similar journeys in the World of Warcraft. Limestone is Azeroth, by the way, except the air is noticeably thinner. We hiked up Roan Mountain, braving icy paths (and bear hazards, no doubt) to reach its peak.
Keeping Kramer and the Vans in mind, I also did my best to represent frail counter-strike players around the world at an actual firing range. From the range’s website:
While physical skills are extremely important, we firmly believe that mental conditioning is the most important factor determining the outcome of any crisis; therefore; we strive to instill the proper “MINDSET” in our clients. That being the mindset of a true warrior. The mindset that gives us the confidence to know that, no matter what situation we run into; “We are going home at the end of the day!
Some more sage words from their site, this time borrowed from another:
“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” -Sigmund Freud
It should go without saying that I came in with the mindset of a warrior, as my ipod was blaring 13 straight hours of power metal on the way down from Michigan. It was Jessica and Mike, however, that made sure I made it home at the end of the day. They were kind enough to step up and constantly remind me where to place my thumbs and how to find the safeties. With my sexual and emotional maturity in place, we drove back into town for BBQ and college football.
All kidding aside, much thanks to Jessica and Mike for a wonderful weekend, and for reminding me to get out from behind my laptop every once in a while. Special thanks to Shelby and Toni for making my family feel so welcome in every regard. I truly couldn’t have asked for a better holiday. After the drive back tomorrow, I’m hoping to see several of you on Monday before I continue to the city.
Video of me in Limestone, Tennessee below:
Pictures:
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- The Coop. He missed me!
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- Kitteh wans fud!!1
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- Playing catch with Coop.
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- Jess and Mike’s house in Limestone.
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- The fridge in the basement.
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- Ammo… maker thinger. A wedding present, of course.
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- They save about 15 cents a round by making their own. Pretty awesome.
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- 1950’s turkey utensil, which looks to be Klingon in origin.
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- Dinner.
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- Dessert.
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- We had great weather for the fire.
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- Roan Mountain, right on the border of TN and NC.
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- On the top of Roan.
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- Jess & Mike.
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- The .44 Texas Star, my new “old friend”…
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- The AR-15 was particularly pleasant.
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- Mike’s USP.
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- Sexual maturity: accomplished.
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- The .38 Special – by far the most difficult gun to fire. I couldn’t hit a neighborhood of barns with this thing.
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- I took this picture for Wes. This was actually my favorite gun to shoot.
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- Jessica showed me how it was done from 200 yards.
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- I was awful.
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- Post-Range BBQ. Welcome to Tennessee!
